In a dream I had this morning, I came out of my house at the start of my day and was abruptly scared stupid by a massive shadow passing over me, the house, and the yard. I looked up and saw a gynormous goldfinch (yes, I said goldfinch, exactly like the one above) in flight. It was so big, it was gliding in slow motion, a la Rodan. And it looked like it was searching for something.
What’s a worm-sized human to do? Run for the crawl space under the house.
After a few terrifying moments of listening to the heavy beast land and start prowling around outside, some random people came by the crawl space door and were like, “Hey, don’t be scared! Come on out. It doesn’t eat people. It actually likes people.”
My first thought was, Hell no! F*** you, b*tches! They were way too cheerful and smiling at me and all, and this was the part of the movie where all unassuming idiots suddenly get chomped/knifed. They kept standing there. Nothing happened. My second thought was, Ehhh, they are still alive…
So, I came out. (I know, stupid)
I glanced in the direction they were all looking, towards a large embankment near the end of my neighborhood, and sure enough, the massive goldfinch was peacefully waddling through the grass with another group of random people, enjoying the day.
Only, for some reason, the thing now looked strangely like a giant guy in a bird suit.
(Relevant Info: This past weekend — for the entire weekend — I was in aficionado heaven watching back-to-back-to-back 50th Anniversary remastered episodes of classic Star Trek, watching Yongary, Monster from the Deep, and looking up anything I could find on the new Shin Godzilla movie.)
What’s the verdict?
• I watched too much Star Trek
• I watched too many man-in-suit monster movies
• I ate something bad
• I need to see a doctor about my issues
• Probably all of the above 😉